The season of giving is here again and I’m grateful for all I have received so far. Many thanks to the landlord for his gifts of 2 vests, one pair of trouser and 3 pairs of socks. The pair of trousers did not fit but I got enough money from it when I sold it to buy a loaf of sliced brown bread which was a real bargain I think. Oh plus one of the pair of socks was torn but it’s still useful when I put it on with either of the nicer pairs.
I’m grateful to the landlord for not kicking me out this time around as the watchman was thinking of charging me a fee every end month for spending time with him at his post after being locked out for rent arrears. I’m happy I don’t have to share my blood with the watchman’s fleas as well. I’m sure the landlord is looking out for us by not fumigating the watchman’s “box” to ensure he stays awake all night long and earns his keep. It does help that he now looks rougher with leopard like spots from all the scratching he’s been up to. I understand even the stray dogs stay away from his bonfire at night because his fleas have fleas with a caste system and they don’t want to infect themselves.
We his tenants never tire in informing the landlord that a gate without a surrounding perimeter fence looks ridiculous. However, we’re exhilarated that he has over time allowed us to dump rubbish in one corner and I’m sure by looking at the progress on the other corner where we’re now doing the dumping we’ll be getting our perimeter fence after all. Any thief worth his salt would be crazy to pass through the filth to get to our rooms. The smell doesn’t help but hey better half a fence than nothing.
I’m grateful to the butcher for cutting me a piece of meat once in a while in weight measures even I don’t understand for it is only at our place where they cut you a piece for what you have. I don’t mind at all when he calls me “Mambao” because I’m always saying “nikatie nyama ya mbao” without a hint of shame and no I don’t pretend it’s for poisoning the rats in my house like some customers .They lie. I would also like to take this opportunity to wish him a quick recovery after he cut his thumb while cutting a customer a five shillings piece- I think that was going way below even his own miniscule standards-that, Mr. Butcher man ,was pure greed. Of course I will never tell him to his face not while he still owns that big machete.
To my former next door neighbor I say peace be with you and yes I did get my money back. Thanks for the many lessons on the art of getting money. I particularly liked the one about asking someone out of the blues if they had money on their phone, aka MPESA, to send to you because it was “urgent” and that you would pay them back by 2pm the same day. The amount would not normally exceed 200 shillings and many a gullible victims myself included fell for it, some a couple of times. I never really understood why you chose 2pm as the refund time. I will try it out next year once things cool down a bit.
The policemen who came to ransack your place are still “patrolling the neighborhood” and are leaving no stones- read pockets- unturned/untouched. You really did have a lot of stuff but don’t worry the landlord made sure it was shared equitably- the policemen on patrol got the hi-fi radio that they reported as being stolen and took it for evidence keeping. I’m sure the one who carried your TV took it to the evidence room as well .I’m a good citizen so I helped him to get the antennae off the roof whilst he smiled for reasons best known to him. The landlord took your bed and your seats. Apparently you had rent arrears going way back and those items helped him recoup his losses. He left the mattress though, I don’t think it’s the ugly stain spots here and there particularly at the middle that made him leave it. Baba Boi your former neighbor to the right did not waste the opportunity. Bad rumours are going on that he upgraded on to your mattress and handed his paper thin mattress to be shared by his many kids. Allegedly, his kids are so excited that they sleep width-wise on it on the floor so that all 6 of them have a fair share of the mattress. It’s said that you can see the sparkle in Boi’s eyes in the morning when he carries it out and throws it on to the roof to dry.
I know some people thought I was foolish for only getting myself 2 vests, a pair of trouser, and 3 pairs of socks but what really happened to that busy body who joined the police and got himself your shirts? Wasn’t he the one who was beaten by an irate resident of The Estate for allegedly stealing his shirt? I sold the pair of trouser and wear my vests inside and my socks are in my shoes. All those nights you came back with bruises on your face and that bad cut you had on your head last year could not have been from scrambling to get in to a shopping mall to buy stuff, could it?
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