When someone compliments you, the norm is to say your “Thank you” and perhaps follow it with a smile. However, I have come to learn that not all compliments are to be taken at face value.
Take for instance the tea girl at my employer’s place: she recently complimented me on my new cologne and improved hygiene. I was amiss for I had neither bought any cheap fragrance nor done any extensive cleaning save for a shoddy haircut. On further prodding after I had promised to also buy her “Maize Mandazi” (she mixes maize and wheat flour to cut costs) she told me that I previously had this foul smell consisting of stale sweat, bad breath and a distinct kerosene smoke. I had not realized that my using a kerosene stove left me with kerosene smell, after all a man must cook and eat.
My new found aura is as result of my cousin who has just finished college education. He tells me that when he was in school the government would loan him some money to pay for his fees and upkeep. He was not much of a spendthrift and thus saved and bought a few items which he calls “bare necessities”. These include one of the biggest radios I have ever seen up-close and operated- a 3 CD changer. As if that is not enough it also has a remote so all I have to do is put my backside on my 3inch mattress on my bed and press some buttons and we have music. He also has a gas cylinder cum cooker thus the disappearance of my kerosene smell.
He is waiting for job openings and spends most of his time drafting both short and lengthy letters of applications for various exiting and non-existent jobs. Everyday I ask him if there’s any luck and all I have been getting is that they told him to “drop my CV and they shall see in future.” I am not complaining since as I have said I have been enjoying some new found smell…. or lack of it.
My cousin seems not to like The Estate. Our landlord has been rationing the water that we use. It has come to his attention that we now seem to consume more water than before the water rationing in the city. Apparently we have been capitalizing on the “water days” when the city council allows it to flow to our estate to do all manner of laundry and cleaning. He is at loss as to why he seems to be paying more than before, now that there is water rationing. What he does not know is that some of his tenants have been selling the water to the water vendors. It is all close knit and no one in The Estate is ever going to tell. Why should we?
In addition, we now have electricity rationing! It really doesn’t make a difference what the power company wants to call it- they are calling it power “management”. The other reason why it does not matter is because we have been having our own internal rationing all through. You see the landlord has since time immemorial been switching off the electricity from 8am to 6pm except on Saturdays and Sunday when he switches it back on at 2pm. We call these two days, off peak days. But now with the Kenya Power and Lighting Company schedule things are even worse since now lights go off at 6am to 6:30pm!
When Baba Boi inquired about this anomaly in his power management, he was informed that the country is in a crisis and that we all need to pitch in and make sacrifices. The landlord had then gone on to say that he had as a result made his schedule to go hand in hand with that of KPLC only that his is now daily! As a result I only get to listen to the big radio at night and at low volume. Our landlord definitely knows how to kill two birds with one stone only that his understanding of the saying is that you throw the stone once then pick it up for a second throw.
Come end month, I assigned myself the job of assisting my cousin to get a place of his own albeit unwillingly. I took him to one of those suburbs with mean looking uniformed watchmen to look for a Servants Quarter better known as SQ. I’ve always wondered –if the rich have so much money why do they rent out their SQ’s? Perhaps to remind themselves off poverty or is it to get rid of some rich guilt?
All we had to do is inquire from the watchmen if any of the SQs were vacant and leave his phone number with them in case of any eventualities. One of them did call - but when we went to view the SQ we found out that there was more to it. The watchmen have come up with a new way of making money. They are also part-time house agents with hefty commissions. The watchman informed us that he had a charge of ksh500 to cover “viewing fee”. In addition, if my cousin liked the house he would have to pay him an additional ksh1000 “moving in fee.” This is definitely something I need to introduce to our watchmen at The Estate. They could make some commission by showing off my room and telling the would be tenant of my impending departure come the end of the month only for me to postpone it. We sure could do with that “viewing fee.”
My cousin has also postponed his departure till the end of the month when he hopes to get a reply from his many job applications and possibly a job as well. In the meantime, I smell better and listen to CD’s from 6:30pm till 6am then doze off at work the rest of the day.
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